Every Year, I Say “This Is My Year.” It Never Is.

For years, I kept telling myself that the next year would be the one where everything finally falls into place. But no matter how much I planned, checked off milestones, or tried to force that feeling of arrival, it never came.

It’s not like I wasn’t trying. I did everything I was supposed to do:

✅ Landed a graduate program straight out of uni.

✅ Earned my fellowship qualification.

✅ Attempted to make new friends (questionable success).

✅ Grew closer to God—while questioning Him constantly.

✅ Moved in and out of home, over and over again.

✅ Made it through the chaos of COVID.

✅ Stood strong through my mum’s medical battle (ongoing, but we persevere).

And somehow, life just kept swinging.

In the years since graduation, I’ve lost more family members than I can count. At this point, I might be a bad omen, but who’s keeping track?

The Emptiness No One Talks About

Here’s the thing: You can do everything “right” and still feel like something’s missing.

I’ve hit all the traditional milestones, yet I keep coming back to the same unsettling thought—when my mum eventually passes, I feel like I’ll have nothing left. No real anchor, nothing keeping me tied to this world in a way that feels permanent.

Because, let’s be honest:

⚡ Jobs? Temporary.

⚡ Friendships? People move on.

⚡ Even family? You don’t get to keep them forever.

And if all of those things can disappear, what’s left? The thought of life moving on without me is terrifying.

So, I decided: I need to build something that’s mine. Something no one can take away from me.

Welcome to My Overactive Mind. Please Enjoy the Chaos.

If my brain were a browser, it would have 200 tabs open, half crashing, half blasting different songs at full volume. I’m constantly jumping between ideas, research, and hyperfixations that I will defend with my life for two weeks before moving on.

I want to try everything, experience everything, research everything, even though most things I try, I end up hating. But I love the process.

And since I’m financially comfortable enough to indulge this chaos, I might as well turn it into something useful.

Which brings me to Toast Empire.

So… Why a Toast Empire?

Because after everything life has thrown at me—the grief, the setbacks, the unpredictability—I refuse to let it be for nothing. I don’t want to just exist, following the script, waiting for something to finally click.

I want to build something that is mine—something that captures my weird, chaotic, unfiltered self.

Every toast in this empire? A different piece of me.

It’s my way of making sense of the madness, of turning experiences into something that lasts.

A space where I can:

🍞 Share what I’ve learned.

🍞 Document the chaos that is my life.

🍞 Help people, whether they ask for it or not.

🍞 Entertain, because at the very least, I’m an interesting disaster.

The world is loud, fleeting, and full of distractions, but this? This is my imprint.

The Moment It Clicked: Show Your Work & A Fateful Wednesday Night

I always kind of knew I wanted to create something. But the idea didn’t truly click until I read Show Your Work! by Austin Kleon.

There’s a quote from the book that stuck with me:

“We’re always told to find our voice, but the only way to find your voice is to use it.”

At first, it didn’t resonate. It planted a seed, sure, but I wasn’t fully convinced.

Then, one fateful Wednesday night, I went to dine at Rogue. And for some reason, I had this overwhelming urge to write. To document every single part of the experience. To share the passion, the details, the sheer joy of it all.

That’s when I knew—I had to build this empire.

I don’t just want to exist in the world. I want to be present in it, to document it, to share my voice.

And Toast Empire is where it starts.

What’s Next?

This year, I’m doing things differently.

💡 I’m showing my work.

💡 I’m putting my thoughts out into the world.

💡 I’m building something I’ll actually be proud of.

And if, in the process, I get a free PR package from Funday Sweets,

well… that’s just a bonus. 😉